Much has been said about people who are one thing on social media and another thing in real life. Especially about social media feminists.
It is on social media you see opinions which quite frankly, seem far removed from reality. Let me tell you a short story:
There are many groups on Facebook that admit women only. Some are closed, some are secret that only someone else can add you to the group. In many of those women-only groups, the aim is to be able to discuss freely without judgment amongst others.
One time, an avowed feminist posted on how it was demeaning for the woman to be the only one cooking in the home all the time. That made sense so we all nodded. She then went on to say the married couple should plan a timetable where they assign days to each other. You cook this week, I cook this week.
Some women agreed while some disagreed. The ones that disagreed said amongst other things, that marriage wasn’t a boarding school and making such a timetable wasn’t a realistic move. Both husband and wife should freely cook in the kitchen.
Well, it was a heated back-and-forth conversation and admin had to finally turn off comments for peace sakes.
The following month, the madam who made that post got married. She continued to share photos and happy moments from her marriage for two years until suddenly, the photos and happy tales stopped. She continued with her usual random Facebook posts but there was no more mention of her husband, not even his name. So it came as a rude shock when almost a year later, she announced her separation and said the divorce was yet to be finalized.
Trust people, there were a lot of aprokos who wanted to know what was up but they needn’t wait too long because one of Madam’s friends who she had fallen out with, made a sub-post and added the details of madam’s failed marriage along with it.
According to Friend, madam was being abused in the marriage. She would cook a fresh pot of food every day as Oga wouldn’t eat yesterday’s food. Madam was also the sole provider for the family while Oga contributed almost zero naira. In fact, madam was so abused that she had to beg Oga to perform his sexual duties.
The reveal shocked so many Facebookers; some had to dig up madam’s past posts to be sure it was the same Feminist who took all that nonsense.
In the end, whatever it is you believe in, make sure that it is not only on social media that you preach it, practice it in reality.